Kids and teens have a lot of pressure on them all the time.  Sometimes, it's hard to see that anyone appreciates you for how hard you try.  Life is so scheduled and free time is so short!  Mistakes get taken very seriously and all the good stuff is just expected no matter what you might be going through that day.  However, what is probably true for every kid and teen is that someone cares about you and they want the best for you, even if it's hard to see it.  Parents worry, teachers nag, your friends want things from you, you've been through some hard stuff, and you have a unique set of interests you want to pursue.  Some kids are bullied for being different, even when your differences should be celebrated (looking at you LGBTQI+ folks).  Going to therapy can help you deal with all of these pressures.  Therapists help you figure out overwhelming feelings, make yourself understood better, and work out how to get people to see you the way you want to be seen.  So, who are you now?  And I'll do my best to help you achieve your goals, feel like others get you, and have a better future.

Parents sometimes want to make kids' and teens' goals for them.  That can be helpful, and I also want to know what YOU want.  Therapy works when you want to be here and you want something to be different, not just because other people think you should change.  Parents can explain their point of view, and hopefully see your side of it, too.  Even if you're not sure what can change on your part, you get to decide to stay in a situation that isn't working or try new things out.  Common things to work on in therapy are managing sadness or anger more effectively, working through things that hurt you or stress you out, and not letting people/school/anything stop you from taking care of yourself.  Your goals can be about anything that makes your life better!

Therapy is not magic, and we won't know what works for you until we try it out.  As I get to know you better, we'll come up with upgraded tools that are the best for you.  Here's a list of things that have helped other kids and teens:

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1. Exercise!  Do what you like to do, not what you think you're supposed to do.  Exercise feels different for each of us, and you might not feel good doing what makes your friends feel good.  Try walking, hiking, running, lifting, swimming, cycling, climbing trees, jumping jacks... and pay attention to how it makes you feel.  Are your thoughts more clear?  Do your feelings get more manageable?  

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2. Do your hobby.  Not because you're pressured to produce something but just because you like it.  Read, create, play!

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3. Try a new app.  Calm is a great one - use the breathing tool or let it tell you a story to put you to sleep.  Apps can teach you to be mindful, or track your mood, or learn new things.  What's Up even uses some therapy principles to help you get a handle on thoughts and feelings.

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4. Be kind to your body.  Eat nutritious food, drink enough water, do a basic hygiene routine, stretch your muscles.  You'll feel more human and it's easier to tackle the big stuff when the little stuff is out of the way.

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5. Talk to someone.  Talk about what's going on and your ideas to make it different.  Talk about the hard stuff but don't forget to talk about the stuff that went right, too.  Figure out the type of conversation you need to have, and learn which of your friends and family are the best to have it with.  Come to therapy and talk it out here.  If you're in crisis, please call someone, like this 24-hour hotline in Sonoma County: 1-855-587-6373, or 911.  You're worth it.

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6. Check out more resources here.